The Other Side of Things

I feel as if I have arrived, and in a way I have. I have arrived at the other side of my graduation, and guess what I feel good about the performance I gave. As much as I love to play piano, I am not one to jump at every opportunity I get to play in front of people. When my piano teacher suggested that I give a senior recital sort of as a capstone to my high school years I wasn't thrilled at all, now on the other side of the performance, that recital was worth every second of practice that I've put into it over the last year.
The recital was less than perfect, but that's not what was important, the recital wasn't about showing people what an amazing pianist I was (because honestly I'm just your normal pianist, I just happen to practice a lot and that goes a long way) the recital was really about sharing a part of my life with the people who have shared so much of their lives with me. My recital was about giving a gift, and a celebration of the learning that has been going on in my life over the last 13 years of schooling.
There were two amazing things about my recital, the first was all my piano teachers were there, Mama, Mrs. D, and Anne. I was so amazed that Mrs. D. would drive up here for my recital and so blessed to be able to see her. Piano teachers generally aren't the sorts of people that you assume will make it to their students graduations unless you're still taking lessons from them, but Mrs. D. was so much more than a piano teacher, she was a friend as well and that is truly a blessing.
The second thing was that although I was nervous preceding the recital, when I sat down to play I felt incredibly at peace. I wasn't shaking like I normally do and I was completely conscious and aware of what I was doing. There was no huge adrenaline rush or pounding heart involved, just a steady awareness of what I was doing and how I wanted to play. And the mistakes didn't matter. One thing I've learned over the years is that piano performance isn't so much about a perfect performance as it is about moving on from your mistakes without getting hung up on a few wrong notes. If you can keep your calm and keep the music moving it's almost more impressive than a flawless performance.
And now the recital's done. I don't feel relieved there isn't an "oh I'm so glad I'm done", but rather there's a calm and satisfaction, I did well, I gave the friends who surrounded me on this occasion a gift and this stage of life is completed. It's not a relief to be done, I thought it would be but I felt so comfortable with the job that I did I just feel well satisfied, granted I'm not ready to embark on a new recital just yet, but it's very satisfying to have put so much work into something when you can offer it to someone else as a gift, and I was so blessed to be surrounded by such a great crowd of friends who genuinely care about me and care that I succeed in life, but not just that, they are committed to praying that I make the right choices and walk with Christ and it's encouraging to realize just how many people are committed praying for me and being here for me.