Contemplating Vacation

I said I was taking a vacation this afternoon that infact I thought the rest of my life should be a vacation. She said "no it shouldn't, you would get board." And she was right, I would get board, I can barely handle an afternoon of vacation, to envision the rest of my life a vacation from study is quite frightening. Those masses of empty hours to fill billowing up in front and behind me void of the rigorous studies that currently guide my life. I never thought I would want to claim the life of study for my own, and yet some how I've found myself in this place, caught up in the glamorous toil of learning, the hours spent practicing piano, straining to comprehend theoretical concepts bigger than my brain, reading, reading, occasionally writing papers frequently writing journals. It's something I'm not keen on giving up. An afternoon of vacation is nice, even a couple of weeks to refresh the mind give it space to catch it's breath before diving into the studies again, but there's always a little piece of me that will want to come back to the book, that pushes me to pull out the Beethoven and hammer away at those couple of measures tumbling around in the back of my mind. It's a pleasurable life, not always, and in the midst of projects and classes it often seems impossible to get to the end, but there is a certain amount of satisfaction when one comes to the end of a term and begins to anticipate the next that is quite satisfactory.